Blather

It's almost 10pm and I'm on the laptop in the kitchen. Wow, such exciting stuff...

I'm actually doing homework. I'm on my last 3 classes and they are the worst by far. Blech... I can still see the tv from where I sit, so I'm cool. :-) I actually have to have some noise on in the background (kids don't count...lol). I have one assignment left to go and I'm almost done with it.

I left work early and came home and made some cookie bars for my church's Christmas bazaar tomorrow. It seems like every church in the area is having a bazaar tomorrow. I have a couple hours to kill before my band duties start, so I may check out some of them, as well as dragging M to go apply for jobs. (That girl is driving me nuts.....she's being unusually lazy about finding a job even though I told her that her school career, through me, depends on it.)

I talked to B for a bit today. He's going to see Rocky Horror Picture show tonight with friends at 10pm. If he was with me tonight we were going to go to the midnight showing and dress up and bring props. ;-) We'd have a killer time. J wanted to visit his girlfriend instead of going T or Ting with the step sister, but I have no idea if he was permitted or not.

As you may be able to tell, I am stalling on doing my homework....lol. That's cool, it'll get done, I have 3 hours until it needs to be turned in. But I want to go to bed soon, so I'll finish.

For those that have asked...Bill is doing much better. While the docs didn't find anything "wrong", they put him on some meds that have calmed things down a bit and he seems to be feeling much better.

Well, I better get to it... Have a great night and a great weekend.

Happy Halloween

Last night B was in a Halloween concert with the high school orchestra. The only time I didn't have my camera with me.... All the kids and directors were dressed up and B and his fellow sax players were flashers. He wore a trench coat, white socks and black shoes. I will assume, for sanities sake, that he did have something on under the trench coat....lol.

Not much going on tonight. I think I may drag Bill to IKEA.

More band stuff this weekend. J's last football game was last night. I didn't get to go, but I did talk to him. They almost won, but J did stop a 2 point conversion by sacking the quarterback. He was thrilled.
Have a safe and Happy Halloween and don't eat too much candy.

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for my wonderful husband, who, in spite of the roller coaster I have put him on, loves me unconditionally.

I am thankful for my kid, even when they drive me nuts. ;-)

I am thankful for my friends who stick by me.

I am thankful for having a job.

Who Am I?

In church a couple weeks ago we watched a video. It was called "Name" and it was by a pastor from Michigan named Rob Bell. The back story of the video is the story of Jacob from the bible. At this point Jacob is wrestling with an angel and after fighting all night, the angel wants Jacob to let him go, but all Jacob wants is a blessing from him. To that, the angel says..."What is your name?"Pastor Bell explains that, in that time period, your name means everything. It is who you are. It is your reputation. Before this, Jacob tried to get his brother, Essau's birthright by lying to their father. So, by the time the angel asks Jacob his name, he's been through a slight identity crisis.

In the video there are people wearing shirts with words that describe them. Some are good like...listener, kind, artist..., but some aren't as good...: HIV+ (depending on your perspecitve, I guess), addict, anorexic, bankrupt, etc...

This video got me thinking. Who am I? What am I doing? Ultimately, I always ask... Why?Ok, let's see... I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a banker, a college graduate, a volunteer, etc... But, are any of those things who I really am? Does any one think I am trustworthy, friendly, nice, hard working, etc...? I would like to think so, but ultimately what others think should not affect me. But, I guess it does. My ex thinks I am worthless and tries to tell my kids that. But, they don't fall for it. That's good... My brother gets mad when my kids defend their dad, but that's not his concern. Both of these scenarios bother me, though. I just want to feel like I fit in somewhere. I see people all over that seem to get all the breaks. Jealousy doesn't really get into this, but I'm sure there is a bit of that too. There are lots of people that have more money than I, but money isn't everything. Maybe I am just under some sort of black cloud some days. There are days when it's sunny, but then the cloud rolls in. I have a tendency to be depressed, but not as often as I used to. PMS rears its ugly head, but it passes. I try to let things roll off my back, but some days its hard. As far as what I do in my current career, I am known in my community. I live and work in the same town I grew up in. Many people I deal with in a business capacity I have known for 30 years or more. I am president of the schools band booster club, some of the parents I went to school with or they also graduated from the same school. I have ties and connections. The people I work with in the firehall I have known for 30 years and I grew up with their kids. I am getting my kids involved in the community also. But why do I feel like the bad guy sometimes? Can one person really affect me this badly? Well, it's time to defeat that person....even if it is just in my own mind...

The weekend

My weekend started Friday evening by dropping B's uniform off to him at school and then picking up J. So, J and I order pizza and a sub for the rest of the fam and have a pretty cool conversation. He went over his football game, almost play by play, because I was working and missed the game. He really enjoys football and I can see him going pretty far with it.

Saturday was another competition day. Since it was a later report time, B hung with some band friends and Bill, J and I went shopping a bit. The three of us got to the school in time to feed the band and have some ourselves. Bill was with the pit crew and J and I rode the bus, I was chaperoning. It poured the whole day so they moved the competition indoors. In that case, usually the bands, usually, just stand still (in the gym) and the colorguard will twirl the flags etc.... But our band did it differently. We still used a couple props (moved by J and I) and the band did do some marching and dancing. They learned that all in less than 2 hours. In the end, we Wowed the judges and audience. First place in our division, best music and best drumline...highest score of any of the bands there. They were awesome!

Yesterday we did the church thing. The boys are now going to sunday school...I tell ya, they are thrilled...lol.. But, no complaints and B is probably going to play tenor sax with the worship team along side M (who is also thrilled...lol). I'm trying to make this work, and I think it will....

Photo blog

Ya know, when I had my own domain and used MT, I loved having a photo blog separate from my usual one, one of these days.....

I thought I'd just catch up with pics I've mentioned and taken over the past month or so.  So, here goes....  (Ok, blogger is pissing me off, can't get these in the right order, so bear with me...)

Took this pic this morning.  Finally finished painting the living room.  Here is my fireplace and mantle.  The one pic missing on mantle is of B.  Need a frame.  But I have J's football team, J, M's senior pic and B with the band.  Plus the pup on the floor.

This was in the waiting room at Hershey Medical.  Gorgeous stained glass.
M and B fooling around and then a couple minutes later looking forlorn...lol.

Ren Faire Pics:

As I mentioned, I went on stage with Todd from the Tartan Terrors at the Ren Faire.  The first 2 are of me with him.  The next is the whole band and the last is Todd, himself.

J at one of his football games (number 55):

Who I work for:

I guess that's it for now.  ;-)

Coffee goodness...

If you know me, you know that I LOVE coffee. Here is a great new site that is having a giveaway. Visit GetTheBean to see what's up.

Oh no I didn't...

I did not act shocked when our band became STATE CHAMPIONS in our division in USSBA competition on Saturday. (Seriously, not because I didn't think they are good or anything, we just hadn't competed against any of the 5 bands in our division. Everyone was surprised.)

I did not leave a message with my lawyer on Saturday complete with screaming and crying.

I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of it. ;-)

It's that time of year...

I love the fall. I'm just not all that organized enough to decorate a bunch. :-) But I got some Maxine cartoons in my email this morning that I just loved. I needed a laugh.

Songs from above

I will admit I am not doing well with this situation. I am hurting so badly, but I know it will be ok in the end. This morning, when my alarm went off (set to radio), the lyrics that play right away were.."One Step at a Time" by Jordin Sparks. Then as I turned on the radio the song (when I went to take a shower) "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi was just ending. I was starting to think that something was up. The next song that played was "I'll Stand by You" by the Pretenders. I actually listened to the words this time...

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Dont be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through cause Ive seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you

You dont know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

Ill stand by you

Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

So if youre mad, get mad

Dont hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

Well Im a lot like you

When youre standing at the crossroads

And dont know which path to choose

Let me come along cause even if youre wrong

Ill stand by you

Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And Ill never desert you

Ill stand by you

And when...When the night falls on you, baby

Youre feeling all alone

You wont be on your own

Ill stand by you

Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And Ill never desert you

Ill stand by you

Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Ok, I get it.....don't have to like it, but I get it.

You like me.....

I have been awarded....*blush* Thank you so much to Heidi. I'm still not sure if I'm worthy, but I appreciate it all the same.

In order to officially claim this award I need to list 6 things I love and pass it on to 6 more bloggers. Here goes....

1. Coffee... need I say more?

2. Reading....always have a book in hand.

3. My kids and hubby....again, need I say more?

4. Blogging... while I rarely have anything exciting to say, I've been doing this for 7 years and love it. I've met wonderful people.

5. Music... I hate silence, makes me nervous, so I usually have some sort of music on. Even at work.

6. My friends...online and IRL, you guys are wonderful and so supportive.

And...the bloggers:

Cheryl: sister-in-law and cook extraordinaire (would you believe I have 3 SIL's named Cheryl...freaky man)

Heidi: long time message board sister (knew her back when she only had one kid...lol)

Mary: I don't know Mary very well, I divorced her husband's brother before they got married, but she has a great cooking blog.

....I will just say that anyone else that reads this can be awarded. ;-)

It's over.....

Custody did change, he got primary physical custody of the boys. I will have them 3 weekends a month, every Wednesday evening and every other week in the summer (which is what we have now). He wanted me to have them less, but obviously, the judge thought otherwise.

Thanks to everyone for their good thoughts. I will resume my normal, abnormal posting tomorrow. :-)

Blah

I'm nervous.  I hate it.  Anxiety sucks.  Tomorrow we get the decision on custody.  Realistically, I don't think it will change, but the ex is so convinced that he'll win that he's practically got the boys packing their bags for him to get them tomorrow evening (they are with me this week).  

Bill is still in the hospital, I've had off from work since Friday night and I'm blah.  I should be getting Bill today to bring him home, but the way the docs are there, they keep changing their minds.  I/We will not be going back to that hospital again. 

School days...

It seems that everyone in my house is going to school. I have my 2 boys in middle and high school and all that goes with it, my daughter is a freshman at Penn State, my husband is constantly doing classes for work (he works for the Dept of Defense and has degrees in BioChemistry, Computer Science and some other stuff including a major in Russian Literature and can speak German, Hebrew and Russian....I feel positively inadequate around him sometimes...) and I am currently in my last session at Colorado Technical University Online. I graduated with an Associates Degree in March and will have my Bachelors in December. My degrees are in Business Administration. I am taking my last 3 classes right now. I am trying to impart into my children the need for education. It took me 20 years to finally go back to school and I'm glad I did. The downer is the kids' dad. He thinks that M will drop out of college (over my dead body) and be a bum. B wants to either be a music or English teacher and J wants the military. J also wants to go to the NFL, to which I told my non scholarly kid that he needs to go to college to make that happen. He is my planner so he figures he'll go into the military and then go to college on the GI Bill (if that even still exists). Hey, as long as there is some sort of thought going into this stuff, I'm all for it.

Bill is still in the hospital, but will probably be out tomorrow (crosses fingers). They found a pulmonary embolism, a small one (blood clot in lungs). He's on blood thinners and will be for the foreseeable future.

Band night at the high school football game tonight. I get to preside in all my presidential glory...lol. Well, at least talk to people. ;-) What we do is have a tailgate party with the band kids from the elementary, middle and high schools, which includes food and games. Then all the middle and high school bands do a combined pre game "show" and all the kids play in the stands for the game. It is a high light for the younger kids. I will try to get pictures of it. I must say I was surprised to see they had band night when I moved back here. When I went to this school, if you were in band...not necessarily a good thing to others. I know...they were just jealous. ;-)

Band competition tomorrow. We're doing pretty well this season. I am so proud of all of the kids.

Once was lost, but now is found....

While a wonderful song lyric, I do mean my glasses. Yesterday, I did again look over my bedroom up and down....tore the bed apart, looked under and behind the bed and nightstands, etc... But to no avail. Ok, at least I have another pair. So at about 2am, while sleeping, I turn over and my knee almost knocks something off the bed....lo and behold...the missing glasses. Still have no idea how they materialized, but I am once again a happy camper. ;-)

M and I visited Bill last night at the hospital. He is feeling ok, but the fever and infection are still running rampant. Today, at some point, he will get a CT scan and an MRI to rule out blood clots.

I must tell you about our foray to dinner last night. M, for those that do not know, is my lovely 18 yo daughter. Some that read may remember her as my 8 yo daughter....lol. But I digress.... We get along wonderfully and have pretty much the same type of sense of humor. We had an interesting time trying to get dinner. Bill is in Penn State Hershey Medical Center in Hershey PA. Home of the wonderful Hersheypark (amusement park). We attempt to go to the Hershey Grill for dinner. I am wearing my work clothes and M is wearing a (clean) sweatshirt and tan jeans. Not shabby looking at all. But, you should have seen the looks we were getting from the hostess. You would have thought we'd crawled out of a mud pit. So she asks if I have a reservation. No, I tell her. She looks me in the eye and says 45 minutes. I look around at the empty restaurant and say... Seriously?? Well, sorry, forget it. Then we go to a small diner and get looked at oddly again when asking for a table. But, this time, we get seated...as the whole place looks at us. We get that alot...but I keep telling M that we are so gorgeous that they are jealous...lol. We ate and got the heck out of Dodge, or Hershey as it were...

Here is M....my gorgeous baby...

I'm an idiot

Well...maybe, maybe not.... Last night, when I went to bed, I took off my glasses...per usual. I wear them all the time so it's not like I lay them down and misplace them. But....when I woke up this morning they were gone. GONE! I have no earthly clue where they went. My cats could have taken them, but why? Good thing I got a spare pair recently. I never have a spare pair of glasses, but I got a good deal on ones with the photogray sunglass type changing lenses. I am stumped as to where they went though....

I talked to Bill this morning (he didn't want me to make the trip up to see him last night...an hour or so away and spending gas money...typical of him....) and he's going to have to stay a couple more days. His infection is not going away, not the right combo of antibiotics. They are keeping him until they get a handle on it.

Confession time

I must confess..... I will admit to being a bit afraid of doing it....

I have heard so much about the book Twilight that I read it after M was done with her friend's copy. I finished it yesterday while at the hospital.

Here is my confession....

I.

Hated.

it....

There...I said it. My oh my.....I did not like it one little bit. By the first 100 pages I was ready to put it down and walk away. But, I persevered and gave it a shot. Didn't work.

I read alot...and I mean alot.... I always have a book in hand. And....I LOVE vampire books.... Anne Rice, Charlaine Harris...you name it, I'll read it and usually like it. This book did not do it for me. I was actually bored reading it, but I tried.

To all those that love Twilight and the other books in the series....I am so glad, but they are just not for me.

A day late

Since I was out all day yesterday, I will post about yesterday a day late.

1. I did not spend 3 hours waiting for my husband to be taken into surgery.

2. I did not sit for 5 hours drinking a large Starbucks coffee and jonesing for more in a waiting room.

3. I did not try to talk to doctors and nurses and tell them why my husband was shaking because of a morphine reaction. (non-life threatening)

4. I did not think the McDonalds drive thru guy was an idiot for walking away and thinking I was trying to "dine and dash".

Blech

I'm sick. Blah... Not horribly, just a sore throat and losing my voice. Hopefully it won't go as usual and I'll sound like a 90 year old, 6 pack a day smoker on oxygen.

Nothing special going on around the ole casa. Mainly hanging with the kids, which has been hilarious lately. Just the typical joking and talking, but it's been fun.

Band fundraiser tomorrow.... handing out flyers at homes and at WalMart. We need some funds for Disney in Dec.

I think I may go out and rent a movie or two for the family. It's been a while since we've done that. We watch tons of stuff on TV, but renting, not so much.

Have a wonderful weekend.